Hi, my name is Montana, and I have a son who is HIV positive, and we learned about it in the year of 2003. At that time, I think that I was angry. I know that he was angry. He had a really hard struggle upon learning it. He had lost his mate. He drank way too much. He did drugs, and he tried to commit suicide. He ended up in mental institutions. It was very, very difficult, but once he decided to clean himself up and accept and get on the medication, it really became much easier. So when he caught this, it came as a surprise and then it didn't come as a surprise because I knew that he hadn't been careful. I really, really tried to be mad at the person who gave my son this disease, but it's difficult to be mad at him because somebody gave it to him.
I don't really think Steven knew that he was in trouble. I don't think he knew that when he was drugging and drinking that that was really taking away from him. He was very obnoxious and wasn't very pleasant and just all the real horrible things. So when I moved in with my son and I told him I wouldn't tolerate the drugs or the drinking anymore, he used to sneak out and he's come back and he'd be loaded. So after about probably the tenth time, I'd really had it. So I got a camera and I took his picture. And I kept taking his picture and all the horrible things that he was doing when he was like that. And then I went and I took them to the drug store and I got them blown up and I hung them all over the house. And when he came down and sort of sobered up I said, "This is you. This is you and this should not be you. You're a much better person than this." And I said, "You have the opportunity to clean yourself up. You've got a clinic that's willing to work with you. You have people who love you, who are going to stand behind you. So get your act together." And he got in the truck and he went to his clinic and from then on he was fine. But I still have those pictures. And I have them mounted on the wall in his office, so that everyday he can go by and he can see those pictures and be so proud of himself because he's done so good, so good.
Someone who would struggle with this disease, I think, my heart just goes out to them. I can't imagine anybody going through this without someone holding their hand. And I know that there are thousands and thousands of men and women who have this disease and are all by themselves. And if I could, I'd just wrap my arms around them and tell them everything would be okay. I would want them to know that there are so many things out there, if they just take a couple little baby steps and get into a clinic or something they won't be alone anymore. They will find somebody who will wrap their arms around them and tell them that everything's going to be fine.
I live with my son. I gave up the life that I had to be with my son because I felt that was more important than whatever little thing I could contribute as a single individual. I also have three other sons, and as a family, we grouped around him. As far as the family goes, I don't think anybody missed a beat. It was like, okay, he's got HIV, so let's just go on. HIV is not a death sentence. It's not. With medications and diligent work upon yourselfÑyou have to work yourself, you have to do it yourself, and if you do, you can live twenty, twenty-five years. My son's going to outlive me, and that's a great feeling. That's the way it's supposed to be, and that's what makes me very comfortable with this disease.
I go to clinics and to therapy classes with my son because there are those things out there for people. There are community projects, there are clinics, hospitals. There is a multitude of people out there that can help. And when I found that out, then it didn't seem to be quite as desperate as I thought it was going to be.
For the people who have HIV positive, who just learned or have carried it for awhile and are aloneÑyou need to have somebody there. And for some reason this world has made this disease some kind of shame, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, it's just a diseaseÑsomething that you catch, you know, while maybe loving somebody. After you get over that initial humpÑthat baby step that I talk aboutÑonce you get past that little baby step, the world is wide open to you. You can do anything; there's nothing stopping you. You can still go on and be just as productive as you ever were.
For people who are like me who are not HIV positive, if you choose to turn your back on this disease, you are missing out. You are missing out on beautiful people.