If someone were to tell me that they'd rather not know, I believe that they should know because you can stop yourself from dying so quickly. You can kind of prevent living a short life. There are so many medications out there that can help you, and I believe that you should know because, if you're sexually active, you don't know how many other people that you are getting infected. And then not only that, it does not stop there. If you're not going to be together, they're going to be with someone else, and they're getting that person infected then so on and so on. And I believe that you should know. I believe that everyone should get tested and know if you are HIV positive or not.
How my coworkers found out I was HIV positiveÑthey were doing an article on children at one of the day cares that one of my kids go to. They lost a lot of funding. And the lady asked me could my children be in the article. And I told her yes, and the people at my job, they've seen my children because I take them up there for a doctor's appointment and everything, and they seen my children in this newspaper. And they look likeÑoh my GodÑand once they start reading the article they ask me a question. One of the girls asks me, she says, "I'm just going to ask you. Are you HIV positive?" I told her. I said, "Yeah. I'm HIV positive." And one of the girls that I didn't never think was going to say anything about itÑI thought she was just kind of going to shy away from meÑshe said, "You are so young, but you go around and you love on everybody else and you give everyone else encouraging words." She said, "You can be a great encouragement to other young people. You know, how you just carry yourself and how you not letting this situation get you down." And when she told me that, I just wanted to cry because I thought that they was going to reject me, but instead they loved on me.
Once I found out I was HIV positive, I didn't think I was going to ever get married. I didn't think I was ever going to be able to have any more children. I just thought my life was over. I didn't think that anything was going to go well for me because I'm young. I'm HIV positive. I'm nineteen years old. I felt that no one would be able to want me because of the illness. I felt like I wouldn't be able to accomplish anything in life. But then after, I just made a point in my life that I would not let this kill meÑI would kill it. And how I began to do that, I start doing things that will better my life because I know I had a child that regardless to what goes on with me I would still have to live for her. So I just started going to school. I graduated from high school, and I went to medical assistance school. I just started doing stuff that would better my life. And now I have two extra children; I have three kids all together. I have two boys and one girl, and none of my children are HIV positive. Just seeing them just makes me go father, just make me want to do whatever I can to just fight this disease.
To keep my attitude positive, I go shopping. I love to shop. I sing. I take my kidsÑme and my kids might go to Chuck E. Cheese. Just little simple things. Me and my daughterÑI'll take her. We'll go get our nails done. Just something that encourages me. Just to wake up and just see my beautiful children every morning, that encourages me alone.
To be honest, singing is what got me through a lot of situations. I mean, when I was down and out I'd start singing, and it just lifts up my spirit. When I think about itÑokay, I'm going through this situation, I don't know which way to go, I just begin to sing. And my spirit just started lifting up, and I can get through any situation." s
"Why should I fear, discourage? And why should the shadows come? Why should my heart feel lonely and long for heaven and home, when Jesus is my portion? A constant friend is He. His eye is on the sparrow. And I know that my God watches, oh I know He watches me."